A practical approach to better relationships
Don't just get by. Build a better relationship.
Better At Us gives couples the knowledge and practical skills to strengthen their relationship, work through difficulties and understand each other better – without ongoing weekly therapy.
Work through the materials and exercises together at home, in your own time, with my professional, personal guidance.
INTRODUCTION
What is Better At Us?
A relationship doesn’t need to be in crisis before it’s worth making better.
Difficulties are a natural part of being together – all relationships have them, and many couples simply learn to live with them.
But if you find yourselves having the same arguments or blow-ups, don’t feel as close as you’d like, or don’t always feel like you’re on the same team, you may want more from your relationship than simply getting by together.
Better At Us brings together 15 years of professional relationship knowledge and practical experience into a clear six-part framework you can use together at home, with my professional, personal guidance along the way.
It gives you the knowledge and practical skills to understand each other better, work through difficulties together and build the kind of relationship you both want.
You’ll explore what shapes how you respond to one another, how to communicate better, what each of you needs and how to give it, how to strengthen intimacy, and how to resolve differences without them getting in the way of your relationship.
Everything is written in clear, everyday language and designed to be practical and easy to use. There’s no course to complete or fixed order to follow – you can focus on what’s most useful to you.
I’ll help you decide where to begin and be there to support you as you put what you learn into practice.
Meet each other's needs
Understand each other
Communicate Better
Resolve difficulties and protect your relationship
THE BENEFITS
What you'll work on.
Work through Better At Us together at home, with professional, personal guidance from me. You’ll receive everything from the start, with an initial meeting to help you decide where to begin and further face-to-face or video support as you put it into practice.
1.
Understand
Yourself
Recognise your triggers, emotional reactions and familiar patterns, and learn how to respond rather than simply react.
2.
GOOD
COMMUNICATION
3.
Know
Your Partner
4.
Understanding Your
Core Needs
5.
Intimacy
6.
Resolving Differences &
Protecting Your Relationship
Learn how to work through difficulties together while building the habits that keep your relationship strong over time.
Free initial call
Get started
Fill out a questionnaire
Meet with Paul
Get guidance when needed
THE PROCESS
How it works.
Better At Us combines working through the programme together at home with professional, personal guidance from me. You’ll receive the complete programme from the start, along with an initial meeting to help you decide where to begin and make the best use of it, with further face-to-face or video support as you put what you learn into practice.
1. HAVE A FREE 30-MINUTE CALL WITH ME
A free 30-minute call to find out everything you need to know about Better At Us, ask any questions you have and decide whether it is suitable for you and your relationship.
There is no obligation to proceed.
2. Get started
Once you join Better At Us, you’ll receive access to all six parts of the framework, giving you the practical information, exercises and relationship skills you’ll use together at home.
3. Complete your questionnaires
You’ll each complete a questionnaire independently. These are sent directly to me and help me understand your relationship, what is working well and the areas where you may find some additional guidance useful.
4. Meet with me
I’ll review both questionnaires before arranging your 60-minute meeting. We’ll talk through the framework, where you might begin and anything I think it would be useful for you to understand or be aware of before you start.
5. Begin - with support when you need it
You then begin working through Better At Us together, at your own pace and starting with the areas most useful to your relationship.
I’ll be there to provide further guidance when you need it — helping you work through anything you get stuck on, understand what’s happening between you and put what you’re learning into practice in your own relationship.
THE FOUNDER
Meet me.
I’m Paul Lipman, a psychotherapist and couples therapist with more than 15 years’ experience working with couples in my practice – Whole Psychology.
I created Better At Us for couples who want to improve their relationship without necessarily needing ongoing weekly therapy.
Your detailed questionnaires give me much of the understanding I would normally build up over several weeks of working with a couple face to face. So when we meet, I already understand a great deal about your relationship and can offer professional, personal guidance relevant to the two of you.
THE QUESTIONS
FAQs.
How do we get started?
If you are ready to begin, head to the Getting Started page, complete the form and make your payment. You will then both be asked to complete a questionnaire which will be sent straight to Paul. Upon review, Paul will contact you to arrange an initial meeting.
How is this different from therapy?
In therapy, the therapist can become actively involved in what is happening between you. They can guide or interrupt a conversation, suggest you try something differently, reflect back something you may not yet recognise, and help each of you manage difficult emotions. They also have a responsibility for maintaining an appropriate and safe therapeutic environment.
Better At Us takes many of the educational elements and practical relationship skills that I use in the therapy room and makes them available for you to learn and practise together at home. You work through the framework yourselves, with my initial guidance and a further 60 minutes with me available if you need it.
What if therapy is a better option for us?
In the first instance, please contact me. The priority is to understand what has changed and whether there are any concerns about your wellbeing or safety.
It may be that some further guidance is all you need. If it becomes clear that couples therapy would be more appropriate, I can help you consider your next steps.
If you would like to work with me and I have availability, we can discuss that. If not, I may be able to suggest other therapists or help you think about finding appropriate support, including face-to-face therapy if that is what you prefer.
The work you have already done through Better At Us is unlikely to be wasted. Many of the areas you will have explored – such as communication, emotional connection, understanding your needs and recognising relationship patterns may also be relevant within couples therapy.
What if I need more information?
If, after reading everything, you’re still unsure whether this is right for you, please feel free to email me directly with any questions.
If you’d prefer to talk things through, we can arrange a time to speak. I’ll always make time for you, and there is no charge for this.
How much does it cost?
Better at Us costs £395 or £495 depending upon which level of support you choose. This is a single fee for the complete process, not simply payment for sessions with me.
For £395, this includes my personal review of your completed questionnaires, access to the full, detailed Better at Us framework, and an initial 60-minute one-to-one meeting where we work through what your responses reveal, how the framework applies specifically to you and we will look at one of the areas of the framework in detail.
It also includes a further 60 minutes of one-to-one time, should you need it. You can use this as one 60-minute session or as two 30-minute sessions, at any point within the first four months.
For £495, this includes the same initial 60-minute meeting, but also includes five further 30-minute sessions with me – one for each of the remaining areas of the framework.
If you have purchased the £395 package and decide you would benefit from extra support, you can upgrade your package on the members page which you will have access to after your initial payment.
The fees reflect the complete Better at Us process: the preparation and analysis I undertake before we meet, the framework itself, and the dedicated time we spend applying it to you.
What if I change my mind?
I understand that this is a significant commitment, and I want you to feel confident that Better at Us is right for you. That’s why I have created a fair and transparent refund policy that reflects how far you have progressed through the process.
Upon payment, you will receive access to the full framework. If you decide to cancel:
- After payment, but before our first meeting: 50% refund.
- After our first meeting: 25% refund.
- Thereafter: No further refunds will be available.
If, for any reason, having reviewed your completed questionnaire, I believe that Better at Us may not be right for you, I will arrange to speak with you so that we can decide together whether it makes sense to continue. There is no charge for this conversation and, if we decide not to proceed, you will receive a full refund.
Do I need to have an academic mind to use the framework?
No, not at all. Better at Us has been deliberately written in clear, everyday language, without unnecessary jargon or complicated terminology.
Each part of the framework comes with detailed, step-by-step guidance, so you will know what to do, how to approach it, and how to put it into practice together.
There is some reading, particularly at the beginning, to help you understand the ideas behind the framework. However, Better at Us is not designed to be an academic exercise. Most of the learning happens through doing – using the framework, having different conversations, trying new approaches and practising new ways of relating to one another.
You don’t need to be academic or have any previous knowledge. You simply need to be willing to engage with the process and give it a try.
£395
FLEXIBLE SUPPORT
The complete Better At Us framework, your initial 60-minute meeting with me, plus a further 60 minutes of support.
Use this as one 60-minute meeting or two 30-minute meetings, depending on what would be most useful to you.
You can increase your level of support after our initial meeting if you decide you would like more.
£495
MORE SUPPORT ALONG THE WAY
The complete Better At Us framework, your initial 60-minute meeting with me, plus five 30-minute follow-up meetings.
This gives you the opportunity to spend 30 minutes with me on each of the remaining areas you want to address.